Tuesday, March 14, 2017

The Province of the Law

Why must this be happening to me?  A divorce and a firing going on at the same time!  Either one would be more than most women would care to bear, but both at once?  And this was hardly fair, it's not like I've done anything to deserve this!  


I've always been there for him, and put in more than my fair share of overtime.  How could Jim even think of firing me?  And why had I let him hire me for wife in the first place, instead of the standard merger?  He had reasons that seemed to have made sense at the time, but now I'm sure it was just so he could be free of me almost at whim! Damn anti-union Right to Cohabit states!

Well, I won't let him get away with it!  Firing for anything but cause means unemployment, but wait, could he be thinking of citing the Reproductive Failure clause?  He couldn't be so mean!  Could he?


Now I must stop thinking of all that and focus on court.  I'm still one of the best divorce lawyers in the county!  And if this coast to coast coffee company thinks they're divorcing our own local mom and pop repair service without a fight, they've got another think coming! Pre-nups won't matter given that this is a community property state and there's a limit to how many rights a company can sign away!

And what a stretch!  CoffeeWorld thinks that they can just file for that old chestnut of extreme mental cruelty and my client will just roll over?  Wait till that smug Regional Manager sees the pics I sent his attorney of his coffee shop here having another maintenance company - a slick and polished Big City maintenance company! - come in to fix their furnace last year!  

They'll learn soon enough that some judges still understand what adultery means, and that it's still a sin!

Jim, though, Jim, why was he firing me?  No children, yet, but the one I was going to have last year he said to abort due to her not having a high enough IQ and long enough probable life span.  Or so he said, the poor thing only fell short by a percent or two, I think it was for him not wanting a girl!  How can it be for cause if I was willing to carry her to term?  I should have carried her to term, she was well within the plus or minus of the Genetic Compatibility clause parameters!

Or is this about the kissing?  I hate kissing passionately enough for his tastes, but he knows it's when he hasn't just brushed his teeth first!  Is it that?  Or the sex itself?  But I do the contractual three times a week, and even a fourth now and then without complaint, and I don't even act sad about it, though as my sister pointed out one time, he did forget to include the "positive emotional feedback even if artificially displayed" requirement in the Sexual Maintenance clause.  And there's been a lot more artificially displayed lately than I care to think about, but that's on him not me!  

I'm going to have to call the unemployment office after court today, or better yet see if I can get there before they close!  I have to have some buffer for at least three to six months until I can land another situation!  Who can afford to go it alone nowadays, who but my meanie former husband/boss!  But the way that Rick looked at me at the last block party, I'm pretty sure that since Betsy divested in him that he might be up for a merger!  Wonder how much stock he has available for swap?  Oh, but I'll see what the unemployment office has first, sometimes a gal can get lucky, and my resume is second to none!

Oh, here's that smug Regional Manager and his paid mouthpiece!  A company divorce attorney, no local counsel?  How do they think that'll fly?  Or are they not planning on this reaching the judge?  Did the pics of his client cheating scare them?  I bet they did!  Don't take the first offer, don't take the first offer!

"We'll pay Gary's Fixit and Finishings $150 a month alimony for two years, and they keep all the tools and the truck.  We retain all the improved appliances and fixtures.  It's as good as you're going to get!", said their lawyer.  

He looks so stone faced, doesn't he?  As good as I'm going to get, is it?  He picked the wrong day to try to bulldoze me!  Is this what Jim meant when he called me cold and mean?  He doesn't know what cold and mean is, but this guy is going to know!  

"My clients are an elderly couple that have strong community ties and have been in business for decades!  Cheating on them like that not only caused an immediate loss of financial support, but pain and suffering and embarrassment around town.  Like they weren't good enough, your client had to stray to find satisfaction!  It'll be $300 a month for three years, or not only will we be dragging you through this for the next year, but we'll be suing your fancy-dan mega-corp Maintenance floozy for alienation of affection!"

Look, look!  That hit him where it hurts!  His client's relationship with ToolCo must be a bit rocky, and a scandalous suit, even one we're sure to lose, won't help that a bit!  Wonder if they're already in counseling or just at the talking about it stage?  And don't they have some kind of odd spin-off daughter corporation?  Who'd get custody of that?  And can this lawyer grit his teeth any more?  I think I hear them grinding!

"Today.  We'll do that if it's signed off on today.  And nothing else."

My, but did he turn and scurry back to his table fast!  From little old me?  Oh, this sure brightens my day a bit, but I'm still going to have to go to the unemployment office, I wonder, is Jim really claiming cause or will he characterize it as a layoff so I'll have an easier time with the next boss or merger?

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